When evaluating almost all of the friendships in my life, I think it’s safe to say that technology plays some part in our relationship, in some way or the other. Whether it be through FaceTime calls or Instagram likes or iMessage group chats, my friendships would not be what they are today without the aid of technology.
I’ve sat through far too many family reunion lectures to know that this has not always been the case. As my grandmother would say, “back in her day” people would actually have to get up and pick up the phone or go outside to communicate with their friends. Thus, those of my generation have redefined what it means to make friends and form relationships since most of the work is now accomplished through a screen, not face to face.
So, is this change a bad thing?
I would have to agree with Teen Vogue’s Julie Pennel in saying not necessarily. While feeling the pressure to showcase your entire life online in an effort to create an idealistic image of yourself and perhaps even make friends can amplify feelings of depression or anxiety, at the same time, online forums can actually be a sort of safe haven. Technology allows us to access platforms like Facebook or Twitter where people dealing with mental health issues can find others going through the same thing, forming connections through their common struggles. Thus, even if technology may heighten the mentally deteriorating aspects of making new friends, it also provides a space for people to cope with these mental health symptoms.
Moreover, for college students leaving home for the first time, technology can be the only thing holding together friendships from back home. For example, in this interview, freshman Hannah Brown says that social media helps her stay connected to her friends across the country. Since Brown came to D.C. from. Florida, she said without the use of social media and group chats, her relationships from back home would likely begin to weaken. Hence, our access to more methods to keep in touch can be utilized to strengthen bonds that were already created.
When my mother thinks of the concept of “internet friendships” her mind immediately wanders to the worst place. In her mind, she is still stuck on the age of internet predators and devious schemes disguised as online relationships. However, as Brown as well as St. Johns University freshman Maya Johnson mentioned, technology is mainly used to initiate opportunities for friendship or strengthen bonds that were already there. Rarely does the entirety of the relationship rely on technological communication. Oftentimes, people reach out online and work towards meeting in person.
Johnson highlights an interesting point, which is that she does not credit online platforms completely for forming friendships. Instead, it’s the in-person interactions that come after the online introductions that solidify the relationship. Thus for her, and many of my peers, technology is merely our way of getting our foot in the door. This can dissipate many people’s fear of social anxiety or rejection that typically accompanies the process of making new friends. Online, it is sometimes easier to make the first attempt at friendship, adding an extra layer of confidence since you are allotted the comfort and protection of a screen. However, this doesn’t take away from the work that is required to maintain the friendship once the relationship moves to the real world. It’s true that technology makes making friends a whole lot different, but it is still important to learn how to interact with your peers outside of a screen. Therefore, this move from online conversations to actual in-person interactions is very important in building necessary social skills.
Freshman Tysyn Cartier said technology aided her in making new friends when she came to college. She said many of the people she constantly saw on her social media feed, are now the same people she hangs out with. Thus, technology helped her get accustomed to their presence long before they even met
Whether it’s maintaining long-distance friendships or making new ones, technology is definitely a big help in building relationships. Many of my daily interactions with my friends is in the form of group chat messages. Technology provides a way for someone to always be there, even if they are not physically present. In a way, it allows your friends to always be right there in your pocket.
nyah terrilyn 